Murphy's lesser known laws

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
stupid enough to try to pass them on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those
who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.

11. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.

12. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
--
Bigbazza (Barry) Oz

"Happiness is never an accident. It is the prize we get when we choose
wisely from life's great stores"

On Wed, 14 Jul 2010, Bigbazza wrote:

<schnipp>

Hee hee! Puts me in mind of a similar screed I once read called "Moind's
Fourth Postulate..." Reproduced below for them wot can't be bothered
googling for it...

MOIND'S FOURTH POSTULATE

"The degree of certainty in one's level of competency is inversely
proportional to the actual level."

Corollaries:

1) The hopelessly incompetent are absolutely certain of their abilities.

2) The competent always have sensible doubts, precisely for the reason
that they can realistically assess the situation.

3) The incompetent never realise they are incompetent, precisely for the
reason that they lack the competence necessary to discern the difference.

4) The work of the incompetent tends to be superficial and bombastic. By
extension of corollary 3, they are completely unaware of this and usually
regard their work as profound and important. The converse also tends to
be true: those who regard their work as profound and important usually
have an unrealistic appreciation of their abilities (or lack thereof).

5) The incompetent tend to hire people like themselves since, for obvious
reasons, they do not find their own kind threatening. Moreover, they
usually confuse the sensible doubts of the competent (see corollary 2)
with a "bad attitude," and the overconfidence of the incompetent (see
corollary 4) with great promise.

6) The competent are only tolerated because they are needed to perform
all the necessary tasks that the incompetent regard as beneath them, but
which are, in reality, beyond their ability.

7) The truly gifted don't even think about any of this. They just
happily do their thing. The converse, however, is far from true.

Cheers,
Pete.