As the icicles attempt to form and give it up as a bad job..

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the barracks,
Not an earwig was stirring, not even...

....DON'T think I can't see you, you 'orrible little forficules, _and_
that barrel of oehrwurmbrau you're trying to hide behind your backs.
Let's just see that back where it belongs for the party tomorrow, shall
we?

RSM Willie Earwig