Where oh where has my ogre gone?

An oranguatan appears in the midst of the OEI&U tavern. This, in
and of itself, is not unusual. The various corporealities of
Tristaan and his alter-egos are constantly popping in and out as
their alternative universes interact with the current one.

However, this ape looks different for some reason. He has a
massive wig of white hair, most of it standing on end as if
someone did a SERIOUS style job with mousse and blow dryer. In
addition, there is a long white beard as well. He is dressed in
robes that are remnicient of Bedouin wear with a head-cloth as
well, draped down the back of his neck.

In one hand, he has a long staff with a hooked end, kind of like
a shepherd's crook. In the other hand, are two stone tablets
which look like they are inscribed with ancient cunieform
(although, anyone familiar with ancient Near Eastern languages
would only translate it as "ook").

The orang gazes around the room, lifts his staff, and shouts "OOK
OOK OOK-OOK OOK!". Roughly translated, this means "Let My People
Go!"...or "I'VE GOT A MASSIVE WEDGIE!"... it's hard to tell.
With a wave of his staff, everyone's drinks immediately divide
right down the middle and the various fleas and other vermin
present in the tavern walk down the middle on dry ground...
yeah.. I know, really weird.

With a shake of his red fur, the orang shimmers and, in his place
is Tristaan the ogre... now, the hair, beard, staff, and tablets
are still all in place... and the robe... problem is, the robe is
still sized for an orangutan's height...

....after a quick adjustment, Tristaan addresses the crowd of
curious onlookers.

"Hey, I'm sorry I've been absent so much lately. I've been
buried in my school studies and, when not doing that, have been
immersed in work and family. I don't have a lot of free or
leisure time any more these days. For the past 4 weeks I've been
eating, sleeping, breathing, and drinking the Pentatuchal books
of the Christian Old Testament and just have not been able to get
up for air. It doesn't look like I'll be done with this level of
study until the end of March."

"Just thought I'd drop by and let y'all know that I'm thinking
about you. Have fun."

With that, the ogre turns to leave. He stops at the doorway and
turns to address the patrons. "Oh, and by the way, if you see a
box with a gold lid decorated with a pair of cherubim, whatever
you do, DO NOT LOOK AT IT. Cleaning up melted faces off the
floor is such a nasty job."

Tristaan
--
Beware Spam Trap!: "us" is an "ogre"
*******************************************************
Ogre-Monk, AIM TristaanOgre
God of Grilled-SPAM™ and Summer, Disciple of Babble
Assistant Librarian/Orangutan, Pedant Target,
Chief Brute, Husband of Amethyst, Father of Charis and Talia
Co-Owner of The Ogre, the Elf, The Imp, and The Urchin
Keyboard Martyr, Keeper of the ABML Cookbook
PGP Public Key available
*******************************************************
Working at becoming a monk... read my reactions and responses
to my classes http://ballymennoniteblogger.blogspot.com/
*******************************************************

Tristaan wrote:
<snippage>
> With that, the ogre turns to leave. He stops at the doorway and
> turns to address the patrons. "Oh, and by the way, if you see a
> box with a gold lid decorated with a pair of cherubim, whatever
> you do, DO NOT LOOK AT IT. Cleaning up melted faces off the
> floor is such a nasty job."
>

Erm, if we don't look at it, how could we see it?

On the other paw, if we've already seen it, I guess blub blububb
glubbbbbbbbb

--
Purrt the ghatta
Smitten Kitten
Part-time gryphon
Disciple to the Goddess of Chocolate
Owner of a full Pedant's licenc/se
Goddess of Impertinence
Snikkrish the Tearer
Carpe Bean